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The compelling, inspiring, and comically sublime story of one man’s coming-of-age, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed
�
Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle.
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Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life.
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The stories collected here are by turns hilarious, dramatic, and deeply affecting. Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Trevor illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a moving and searingly funny portrait of a boy making his way through a damaged world in a dangerous time, armed only with a keen sense of humor and a mother’s unconventional, unconditional love.

Advance praise for Born a Crime

“[A] substantial collection of staggering personal essays . . . Incisive, funny, and vivid, these true tales are anchored to his portrait of his courageous, rebellious, and religious mother who defied racially restrictive laws to secure an education and a career for herself—and to have a child with a white Swiss/German even though sex between whites and blacks was illegal. . . . [Trevor Noah’s] electrifying memoir sparkles with funny stories . . . and his candid and compassionate essays deepen our perception of the complexities of race, gender, and class.”—Booklist�(starred review)
�
“A gritty memoir . . . studded with insight and provocative social criticism . . . with flashes of brilliant storytelling and acute observations.”—Kirkus Reviews


From the Hardcover edition.

• Sales Rank: #198 in eBooks
• Published on: 2016-11-15
• Released on: 2016-11-15
• Format: Kindle eBook

Review
“[A] substantial collection of staggering personal essays . . . Incisive, funny, and vivid, these true tales are anchored to his portrait of his courageous, rebellious, and religious mother who defied racially restrictive laws to secure an education and a career for herself—and to have a child with a white Swiss/German even though sex between whites and blacks was illegal. . . . [Trevor Noah’s] electrifying memoir sparkles with funny stories . . . and his candid and compassionate essays deepen our perception of the complexities of race, gender, and class.”—Booklist (starred review)
�
“A gritty memoir . . . studded with insight and provocative social criticism . . . with flashes of brilliant storytelling and acute observations.”—Kirkus Reviews

About the Author
Trevor Noah is a comedian from South Africa.


From the eBook edition.

Excerpt. � Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
1

Run

Sometimes in big Hollywood movies they’ll have these crazy chase scenes where somebody jumps or gets thrown from a moving car. The person hits the ground and rolls for a bit. Then they come to a stop and pop up and dust themselves off, like it was no big deal. Whenever I see that I think, That’s rubbish. Getting thrown out of a moving car hurts way worse than that.

I was nine years old when my mother threw me out of a moving car. It happened on a Sunday. I know it was on a Sunday because we were coming home from church, and every Sunday in my childhood meant church. We never missed church. My mother was—�and still is—� a deeply religious woman. Very Christian. Like indigenous peoples around the world, black South Africans adopted the religion of our colonizers. By “adopt” I mean it was forced on us. The white man was quite stern with the native. “You need to pray to Jesus,” he said. “Jesus will save you.” To which the native replied, “Well, we do need to be saved—�saved from you, but that’s beside the point. So let’s give this Jesus thing a shot.”

My whole family is religious, but where my mother was Team Jesus all the way, my grandmother balanced her Christian faith with the traditional Xhosa beliefs she’d grown up with, communicating with the spirits of our ancestors. For a long time I didn’t understand why so many black people had abandoned their indigenous faith for Christianity. But the more we went to church and the longer I sat in those pews the more I learned about how Christianity works: If you’re Native American and you pray to the wolves, you’re a savage. If you’re African and you pray to your ancestors, you’re a primitive. But when white people pray to a guy who turns water into wine, well, that’s just common sense.

My childhood involved church, or some form of church, at least four nights a week. Tuesday night was the prayer meeting. Wednesday night was Bible study. Thursday night was Youth church. Friday and Saturday we had off. (Time to sin!) Then on Sunday we went to church. Three churches, to be precise. The reason we went to three churches was because my mom said each church gave her something different. The first church offered jubilant praise of the Lord. The second church offered deep analysis of the scripture, which my mom loved. The third church offered passion and catharsis; it was a place where you truly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit inside you. Completely by coincidence, as we moved back and forth among these churches, I noticed that each one had its own distinct racial makeup: Jubilant church was mixed church. Analytical church was white church. And passionate, cathartic church, that was black church.

Mixed church was Rhema Bible Church. Rhema was one of those huge, super�modern, suburban megachurches. The pastor, Ray McCauley, was an ex-bodybuilder with a big smile and the personality of a cheerleader. Pastor Ray had competed in the 1974 Mr. Universe competition. He placed third. The winner that year was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Every week, Ray would be up onstage working really hard to make Jesus cool. There was arena-�style seating and a rock band jamming out with the latest Christian contemporary pop. Everyone sang along, and if you didn’t know the words that was okay because they were all right up there on the Jumbotron for you. It was Christian karaoke, basically. I always had a blast at mixed church.

White church was Rosebank Union in Sandton, a very white and wealthy part of Johannesburg. I loved white church because I didn’t actually have to go to the main service. My mom would go to that, and I would go to the youth side, to Sunday school. In Sunday school we got to read cool stories. Noah and the flood was obviously a favorite; I had a personal stake there. But I also loved the stories about Moses parting the Red Sea, David slaying Goliath, Jesus whipping the money changers in the temple.

I grew up in a home with very little exposure to popular culture. Boyz II Men were not allowed in my mother’s house. Songs about some guy grinding on a girl all night long? No, no, no. That was forbidden. I’d hear the other kids at school singing “End of the Road,” and I’d have no clue what was going on. I knew of these Boyz II Men, but I didn’t really know who they were. The only music I knew was from church: soaring, uplifting songs praising Jesus. It was the same with movies. My mom didn’t want my mind polluted by movies with sex and violence. So the Bible was my action movie. Samson was my superhero. He was my He-�Man. A guy beating a thousand people to death with the jawbone of a donkey? That’s pretty badass. Eventually you get to Paul writing letters to the Ephesians and it loses the plot, but the Old Testament and the Gospels? I could quote you anything from those pages, chapter and verse. There were Bible games and quizzes every week at white church, and I kicked everyone’s ass.

Then there was black church. There was always some kind of black church service going on somewhere, and we tried them all. In the township, that typically meant an outdoor, tent-�revival-�style church. We usually went to my grandmother’s church, an old-�school Methodist congregation, five hundred African grannies in blue-�and-�white blouses, clutching their Bibles and patiently burning in the hot African sun. Black church was rough, I won’t lie. No air-�conditioning. No lyrics up on Jumbotrons. And it lasted forever, three or four hours at least, which confused me because white church was only like an hour—�in and out, thanks for coming. But at black church I would sit there for what felt like an eternity, trying to figure out why time moved so slowly. Is it possible for time to actually stop? If so, why does it stop at black church and not at white church? I eventually decided black people needed more time with Jesus because we suffered more. “I’m here to fill up on my blessings for the week,” my mother used to say. The more time we spent at church, she reckoned, the more blessings we accrued, like a Starbucks Rewards Card.

Black church had one saving grace. If I could make it to the third or fourth hour I’d get to watch the pastor cast demons out of people. People possessed by demons would start running up and down the aisles like madmen, screaming in tongues. The ushers would tackle them, like bouncers at a club, and hold them down for the pastor. The pastor would grab their heads and violently shake them back and forth, shouting, “I cast out this spirit in the name of Jesus!” Some pastors were more violent than others, but what they all shared in common was that they wouldn’t stop until the demon was gone and the congregant had gone limp and collapsed on the stage. The person had to fall. Because if he didn’t fall that meant the demon was powerful and the pastor needed to come at him even harder. You could be a linebacker in the NFL. Didn’t matter. That pastor was taking you down. Good Lord, that was fun.

Christian karaoke, badass action stories, and violent faith healers—�man, I loved church. The thing I didn’t love was the lengths we had to go to in order to get to church. It was an epic slog. We lived in Eden Park, a tiny suburb way outside Johannesburg. It took us an hour to get to white church, another forty-�five minutes to get to mixed church, and another forty-�five minutes to drive out to Soweto for black church. Then, if that weren’t bad enough, some Sundays we’d double back to white church for a special evening service. By the time we finally got home at night, I’d collapse into bed.

This particular Sunday, the Sunday I was hurled from a moving car, started out like any other Sunday. My mother woke me up, made me porridge for breakfast. I took my bath while she dressed my baby brother Andrew, who was nine months old. Then we went out to the driveway, but once we were finally all strapped in and ready to go, the car wouldn’t start. My mom had this ancient, broken-�down, bright-�tangerine Volkswagen Beetle that she picked up for next to nothing. The reason she got it for next to nothing was because it was always breaking down. To this day I hate secondhand cars. Almost everything that’s ever gone wrong in my life I can trace back to a secondhand car. Secondhand cars made me get detention for being late for school. Secondhand cars left us hitchhiking on the side of the freeway. A secondhand car was also the reason my mom got married. If it hadn’t been for the Volkswagen that didn’t work, we never would have looked for the mechanic who became the husband who became the stepfather who became the man who tortured us for years and put a bullet in the back of my mother’s head—�I’ll take the new car with the warranty every time.

As much as I loved church, the idea of a nine-�hour slog, from mixed church to white church to black church then doubling back to white church again, was just too much to contemplate. It was bad enough in a car, but taking public transport would be twice as long and twice as hard. When the Volkswagen refused to start, inside my head I was praying, Please say we’ll just stay home. Please say we’ll just stay home. Then I glanced over to see the determined look on my mother’s face, her jaw set, and I knew I had a long day ahead of me.

“Come,” she said. “We’re going to catch minibuses.”

My mother is as stubborn as she is religious. Once her mind’s made up, that’s it. Indeed, obstacles that would normally lead a person to change their plans, like a car breaking down, only made her more determined to forge ahead.

“It’s the Devil,” she said about the stalled car. “The Devil doesn’t want us to go to church. That’s why we’ve got to catch minibuses.”

Whenever I found myself up against my mother’s faith-�based obstinacy, I would try, as respectfully as possible, to counter with an opposing point of view.

“Or,” I said, “the Lord knows that today we shouldn’t go to church, which is why he made sure the car wouldn’t start, so that we stay at home as a family and take a day of rest, because even the Lord rested.”

“Ah, that’s the Devil talking, Trevor.”

“No, because Jesus is in control, and if Jesus is in control and we pray to Jesus, he would let the car start, but he hasn’t, therefore—�”

“No, Trevor! Sometimes Jesus puts obstacles in your way to see if you overcome them. Like Job. This could be a test.”

“Ah! Yes, Mom. But the test could be to see if we’re willing to accept what has happened and stay at home and praise Jesus for his wisdom.”

“No. That’s the Devil talking. Now go change your clothes.”

“But Mom!”

“Trevor! Sun’qhela!”

Sun’qhela is a phrase with many shades of meaning. It says “don’t undermine me,” “don’t underestimate me,” and “just try me.” It’s a command and a threat, all at once. It’s a common thing for Xhosa parents to say to their kids. Any time I heard it I knew it meant the conversation was over, and if I uttered another word I was in for a hiding—�what we call a spanking.

At the time I attended a private Catholic school known as Maryvale College. I was the champion of the Maryvale sports day every single year, and my mother won the moms’ trophy every single year. Why? Because she was always chasing me to kick my ass, and I was always running not to get my ass kicked. Nobody ran like me and my mom. She wasn’t one of those “Come over here and get your hiding” type moms. She’d deliver it to you free of charge. She was a thrower, too. Whatever was next to her was coming at you. If it was something breakable, I had to catch it and put it down. If it broke, that would be my fault, too, and the ass-�kicking would be that much worse. If she threw a vase at me, I’d have to catch it, put it down, and then run. In a split second, I’d have to think, Is it valuable? Yes. Is it breakable? Yes. Catch it, put it down, now run.

We had a very Tom and Jerry relationship, me and my mom. She was the strict disciplinarian; I was naughty as shit. She would send me out to buy groceries, and I wouldn’t come right home because I’d be using the change from the milk and bread to play arcade games at the supermarket. I loved videogames. I was a master at Street Fighter. I could go forever on a single play. I’d drop a coin in, time would fly, and the next thing I knew there’d be a woman behind me with a belt. It was a race. I’d take off out the door and through the dusty streets of Eden Park, clambering over walls, ducking through backyards. It was a normal thing in our neighborhood. Everybody knew: that Trevor child would come through like a bat out of hell, and his mom would be right there behind him. She could go at a full sprint in high heels, but if she really wanted to come after me she had this thing where she’d kick her shoes off while still going at top speed. She’d do this weird move with her ankles and the heels would go flying and she wouldn’t even miss a step. That’s when I knew, Okay, she’s in turbo mode now.

When I was little she always caught me, but as I got older I got faster, and when speed failed her she’d use her wits. If I was about to get away she’d yell, “Stop! Thief!” She’d do this to her own child. In South Africa, nobody gets involved in other people’s business—unless it’s mob justice, and then everybody wants in. So she’d yell “Thief!” knowing it would bring the whole neighborhood out against me, and then I’d have strangers trying to grab me and tackle me, and I’d have to duck and dive and dodge them as well, all the while screaming, “I’m not a thief! I’m her son!”

The last thing I wanted to do that Sunday morning was climb into some crowded minibus, but the second I heard my mom say sun’qhela I knew my fate was sealed. She gathered up Andrew and we climbed out of the Volkswagen and went out to try to catch a ride.

Most helpful customer reviews

123 of 126 people found the following review helpful.
A Treasure
By Bee
I am generally a pretty critical reader, and it's almost embarrassing to write such a glowing review, but I can say without reservation that this book is a treasure. (And no, I am not a friend of the family. I haven't even watched him on The Daily Show, although I'll probably start to watch now.) Trevor Noah is a superb storyteller, and this memoir is his eloquent and touching account of growing up as the mixed race child of a single mother, living in poverty in deeply racist and sexist South Africa. He provides an inside look at a life very different from what almost anyone has experienced (due to his unusual ethnicity and upbringing), yet it is easy to relate to him and fascinating to read his stories. The book reads like a novel, but it is so much more affecting because it is true. Reminiscent of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, it is a superbly written story of a perceptive and resilient child thriving in very difficult circumstances, and it beautifully captures these circumstances seen through the eyes of a child.

Trevor's mother taught him to use humor to help cope with life, and he learned that lesson well. Despite having good reasons for feeling self-pity and resentment, Trevor had a knack for finding the humor in even the most difficult circumstances. Not forced, jokey humor, but just a low-key appreciation for the weirdness of life. As I turned the last page, I smiled at the ending, which was perfect, but I also felt sad that the story ended. I want to know what happened next. I hope he will write a sequel.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Comedy out of Tragedy
By Nancy A.
My decision to request Born a Crime has nothing to do with star power or fandom. I have to admit I have never seen Trevor Noah on the Daily Show. I requested this book when I learned it was about Trevor Noah's childhood in Apartheid South Africa.

I started reading my ebook galley as soon as I was approved.

I have to love a guy who finds comedy in tragedy and who gleefully spins yarns about experiences that would keep most of us in therapy for a lifetime. There is a genius in comedy that allows us to encounter devastating truths through the protective lens of laughter.

The heroine of the book is Noah's mother, a feisty lady with a solid rock faith, a gal who snubs her nose at things that don't make sense. She makes mistakes, but always out of love. She takes huge risks but somehow Jesus is always there to catch her mid-fall.

Noah was "naughty as s***" and a challenge to raise, but never hateful or mean. He learned to navigate Apartheid society's complex system that divided people in to three groups: black, white, and colored. How one was categorized was senseless. Japanese were put into the 'white' slot but Chinese into the 'colored'.

"The genius of Apartheid was convincing people who were the overwhelming majority to turn on each other. Apart hate, is what is was."

Noah was 'colored' with a 'black' Xhosa African mother and a 'white' Swiss father, his very existence implicating his parent's crime. Had the police discovered them, his parents would be sent to jail and Noah sent to an orphanage. He spent much of his life hidden away, indoors. His parents could not be seen together with him, and his mother had to even pretend he was not her child.

Noah was "colored by complexion but not by culture." He spoke multiple languages, Xhosa and Zulu and Afrikaans, and English, could fit into most groups, but felt affiliated to black culture.

The book is a series of episodic tales, thoughtfully constructed, saving the climax of his family history until the end of the book, after we have come to know and understand them.

"I saw the futility of violence, the cycle that just repeats itself, the damage that's inflicted on people that they in turn inflict on others. I saw, more than anything, that relationships are not sustained by violence, but by love."

The book is funny but is more than a diversive read, it enlarges our understanding of the world. Noah offers an understanding of South African history, colonialism, and Apartheid that is engaging and relevant. He shares the important things he learned and offers them to us. We should listen. We should learn.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
A Story of Resilience
By M. Klinger
It's hard to imagine a childhood like Trevor Noah 's, although there are probably many others who have similar stories. It is a credit to this man for surviving this impossible beginning, but the truest measure of his character is in his realization that the hero of the story was really his mother. Noah 's book will inspire others and will serve as a true witness to the powers of resilience. One can only wish that all children who are dealing with such trauma can find strength and support through examples such as Noah 's.

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Statistics for Social Workers, 8th Edition by Weinbach, Robert W., Grinnell Jr., Richard M. [Pearson, 2009] (Paperback) 8th Edition [ Paperback ]

• Sales Rank: #3907161 in Books
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This book candidly examines Seventh-day Adventist history and doctrines. Beginning with self-appointed prophet William Miller who convinced over 50,000 New Englanders that in1844 Christ would come again in fiery judgment. Then the birth of Adventism as those who explained that Miller had misunderstood the prophecy and judgement had begun not on earth but in heaven. The book explores SDA prophetess, Ellen White whose “visions” urge their members to proclaim that in end-times all Christians worshipping on the first day of the week will receive the Mark of the Beast, then hunt down and torture Adventists. The book thoroughly documents the history of Sunday church services to disabuse member’s belief that those who worship on Sunday are disobeying the fourth commandment. Written to lift the wounded Adventist’s eyes to Christ for healing; however pastors, theologians, those with Adventist family, neighbors, colleagues and friends will find this book a treasure in understanding Adventism.

• Sales Rank: #388096 in Books
• Published on: 2008-07-24
• Released on: 2008-07-24
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x .74" w x 6.00" l, .97 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 328 pages

About the Author
Arthur and Teresa Beem grew up in typical Adventists families. They are third generation Seventh-day Adventists and attended the church’s schools from first grade through the university level. For twenty years Teresa taught in SDA schools and churches as well as serving on high-level church committees. She has published in denomination’s publications including Abortion: Ethical Issues and Options, Adventists Review, Signs of the Times, Women of Spirit, Spectrum, Adventist Affirm and Southwestern Adventist Record. Both have friends and family as church administrators and pastors. Arthur has worked in the Adventist hospital system and his family built radio stations and school buildings for the institution. It would be difficult to find two people who were more entrenched and more knowledgeable about Seventh-day Adventism. After almost forty years in the church, they had their memberships removed and currently minister to former Adventists who feel they were hurt by SDA theology.

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I GIVE THIS BOOK FIVE BIG STARS ! ! ! !
By Kindle Customer
This book was very well researched! I have read many books against Ellen White, but this one brought out so many new points, I find it hard to believe that those who gave this book a low rating HAVE EVEN READ IT! This book is a must for any SDA who is questioning EGW! I have given this book 5 stars even though the Kindle version could have been better edited for spelling, grammar, and quote accuracy. The paperback version was edited much better. The section on what happened to many of the Millerites was especially enlightening! This book is by far the BEST BOOK EVER for anyone questioning Adventism! I have underlined and highlighted the book extensively! I highly recommend this book to everyone. It should be read by former Adventists, Adventists who have questions, Adventists who are quite happy with their religion, people considering whether to join Adventism, EVERYONE ! ! ! ! !

230 of 266 people found the following review helpful.
The untold story also being untrue!
By Stephen Dexter
2/11/11

My Dear Tesa and Author,

I usually do not spend time reading Adventist anti-apologetic books, but because you both are my friends, and I was concerned about the effect your views might have on yourself and others, I have read your book. It seems to me that the work you set out to do was already so elegantly done in the terrific book by Walter Martin entitled "Kingdom of the Cults" The main difference being that he is an actual biblical scholar and theologian and he tried not to have any particular obvious bias against the SDA church which is markedly different then the tone of your book. I guess you thought it was necessary to reprint much of the inaccurate, much of it out of context, anti-SDA rhetoric that has been going around for many years and pile it all up in one place for others to read; that's quite an accomplishment. I have listed a few of the things that I am concerned about for your thought not because I think you will listen to me, but because you have been my friends, your influence has touched me in a personal way, and most specifically affected my children as they respected you and loved you. Time will tell whether your book is doing more good then harm. I fear for the later and the tone within your current websites suggest a defensive and even hateful spirit at times. I would have to write an entire book myself if I were to try and address all of the issues that I have with your book, but I will only go over some important topics to me personally. And to be fair, I recognize at the onset, that your book was in your own words "not written for me". You mention this over and over, I assume because you realize that so many Adventist will think themselves unfairly represented in the book. This however does not relinquish your responsibility to be accurate, fair and kind in your book as you present the book as being accurate and reliable which it is not, as I will go into below. I believe that what you should have done is leave the church and go about business, rejoicing in your re-discovered freedom in Christ (something you always had access to inside the church but did not realize it I guess). Why accuse the brethren like this in such a accusatory negative spirit? Your work regarding the doctrines has already been done as mentioned before, and much better at that as Walter Martin really attempted to be non-biased, accurate and truthful. It is truly amazing to me that you can interpret our 28 fundamental beliefs in such a legalistic way, never finding Jesus Christ freedom to think and to do in them. I would tell you, God's grace and freedom to do as you believe is there in our beliefs. But as you say, God led you out of the SDA church in order for you to enjoy His blessings that I say He meant for you all along. It is OK not to be a Seventh Day Adventist, this has always been the case. You need to worship with like minded people, something that you would never find with your current philosophy towards the SDA denomination. I am sorry you felt duped all those years. Tragic.

1. I will start by quoting your own book, using just one of your so called true statements regarding Adventist to help anyone who might be considering purchasing your book as a possible helpful, insightful, honest account of what SDA Christians are like. Your book consistently offended me throughout its pages, but the following quotation is an excellent representative of your attitude, spirit, and tone of your book. Your words are so unkind, yet so personally untrue, and you present it as a clear obvious fact that is without question. I present it here so that anyone considering reading your book will understand your position as given in your own words. Your book says on page 238, paragraph 2 "Adventist have withdrawn from and abandoned mankind. - Elitism and separateness have made Adventist become the antithesis of Christ (emphasis supplied). It has made them hardhearted and judgmental- afraid of the porn addict, the AID's patient, the alcoholic, and the homosexual." Do you believe that is a fair statement about me personally and Adventist in general. It is like you have never met me. Tesa, how could you write such a thing? If any reader is to believe your book, then I am like that because I am an SDA Christian. There is no other interpretation as you do not state that this is your opinion only and may represent a few of the Adventist that you know. The fact is that I am a physician who personally treats AID's patients and alcoholics every day, and I treat them with loving kindness and understanding and to say that I am afraid of them is ridiculous. Maybe you think I am the exception, but Tesa, your book is filled with so many similar untrue judgmental statements that it cannot be trusted as reliable in any sense of the word. Your critics I see have also been hard on you and rightfully so literarily speaking. But I just wanted to point out to anyone who might read this, that your book is filled with inaccurate statements and judgments that are simply not true even in the general sense, this being just one example. I gathered from your book that you have been personally severely injured by judgmental un-Christ like SDA people, which of course are out there and are in all denominations. I bet there are a few in the congregation you now attend which is Catholic to my understanding. The fact that you consider your statements as wise, truthful, honest and insightful is beyond reasoning for me. I think I deserve an apology for the hundreds of untrue statements about me because I am a Seventh day- Adventist, you know me personally, and you know that I am not like the people you describe in your book as true SDA Christians. You are such a good writer, and you could have written and very good novel using this subject matter. But what you have done is shameful Tesa, and you need to apologize for your book and the untold damage that you are causing with the inaccurate untrue things you have said, this being just one of hundreds of things that are simply untrue. Authors name is on the book as well, and if he is reading this, he owes me an apology too. We were good friends not long ago. Did we treat you like your book says we do?

2. I don't think it is fair to attack the SDA Church in general regarding righteousness by faith. Fundamental belief number 10 "This faith which receives salvation comes through the divine power of the Word and is the gift of God's grace." It is clearly in the official teachings of the church that we are saved by grace alone and you consistently attack the church for not teaching this and claim that we are primarily based on righteousness by works. You might be getting confused because the bible also teaches that faith without works is dead. There is lots of room for discussion on this topic.

3. I do not believe you are being fair regarding the use of what "Adventist believe" or "Adventist teach". In fact, your book consistently offended me personally whenever you claim some thing that "they" teach when in fact, I am part of "they", and you never asked me. But the worst of it is, that you do not make the distinction between your opinion of something the church believes in and what the church officially teaches.

4. You appear to have misnamed the book. It seems clear to me that your book is about why Tesa and Author Beem left the SDA church and your book appears to relate an exhaustive outpouring of your rationalizing your way out of the denomination. A better title would have been "Its NOT OK to be a Seventh day Adventist". Your attempt to get people who have left the church to read your book by your title seems misleading as I would guess that most people who leave the SDA church, or any other church for that matter, is that they have drifted away from spending time with God personally. God can find people anywhere they are if that person is seeking Him. No where does the SDA Church teach that it is not OK to be an SDA, and your title implies in a negative way that the church teaches this.

5. You appear to have missed out on what I consider to be a fundamental spiritual truth regarding laws and/or commandments. It is my opinion that all "law" is an attempt by God to improve our situation and give us a happy life, not God trying to make us worthy or good enough to save eternally. People in general seem to really like salvation by works because then you can feel like you deserve eternal life and the blessings surrounding this. Its the American way after all to work hard for what you get. The confusing, seemingly irrational, ceremonial laws such as "don't boil a calf in its mother milk", for instance, still would have had at its root, some element of improving the law abiding persons life, though certainly I would not know what that is. But I believe as a Seventh-day Adventist that all laws or commands of any kind given by God were and are given for the benefit of mankind, not to make us worthy of heaven. Jesus did obey all of these laws however, and in doing so, believing in him give us the right to be called sons of God and God views us as if we actually did keep them, and as such we are righteous if we trust in Him. But lets not get confused about the purpose of the law. They are for our benefit. They cannot save us.

6. You forgot to mention a few paramount things about the Sabbath. It was not first given on Mount Sinai as your book implies. It was given by God on day 7 of the earths creative existence and both Adam and God celebrated it on that day before sin or transgression of the law was ever experienced. God kept it in heaven, Adam in the garden, Jesus did while on earth and I believe God is still keeping it today. Not for some legal requirement. It made God happy and it was helpful to rest from His work in creation and it should make us happy to rest from our busy lives one day out of seven. It was set up as a memorial to the creator of the universe, a time set apart, or Holy and God specifically told us to remember it. Your chosen path to try and forget it and minimalize its significance appears unbiblical. Jesus clearly points out that the Sabbath was made for man and not the other way around. I am so sorry that you were never able to enjoy the Sabbath for what it is; a blessing to the world, not a legal ceremonial commandment that is entrenched in salvation by works. I would love to see you treat the commandment about worshipping God only, or Murder, or adultery, through the rigorous rough treatment that you have chosen to give the Sabbath which is found in the same list of commandments. You are missing out on meeting with God Himself on a day that He has set aside to meet with you at the beginning of the worlds existence. It is your loss, and unfortunately, Gods loss as well because He loves you and He has set that time apart to be with you in a special way. The legalistic rituals and inconsistencies (your "Dennys" restaurant rule example about going out to eat is an excellent example) that some SDA people come up with to try and improve the Sabbath rest is unfortunate, but these are not in our doctrines and should be changed in my opinion. These are matters or personal preference and room for improvement exists.

7. I am also concerned about your presumption and declaration that you are definitely right in your current understandings, and this appears to have made it difficult on yourselves should you find out that the so called "retarded, delusional, impaired" Ellen White is correct on her end time visions. Only time will tell if she was right as Walter Martin stated. Regarding doctrine, the SDA officially state that "Revision of these statements (28 fundamental beliefs) may be expected at a General Conference session when the church is led by the Holy Spirit to a fuller understanding of Bible truth or finds better language in which to express the teachings of God's Holy Word" thus allowing for new growth and changing of current opinions and new truths. I don't see that you have given yourself this option. Do you ever stay up at night and wonder if you are wrong? That maybe you are angry with the SDA church regarding some particular subject, say the abortion issue, and this is your way of dealing with it? I do.
8. Have you ever noticed that Jesus spent little time trying to defend or sort out peoples doctrine? He would usually just meet them where they are and then tell them some truth and live it by example. In the large scheme of things, I don't think that having the right set of denominational doctrines is all that important. The thief on the cross was saved and his current doctrinal views at the time no doubt will have to be corrected much in heaven. Jesus is trying to save as many people as He can, and I believe that is why He allows for so many different denominations. I believe anyone can be saved regardless of there current set of doctrines, if they believe and confess that Jesus is Lord and Savior. In addition to this, people who have never heard the name of Christ could be saved if God knows their heart to be right, which He is the only one who does know this, maybe even a scientologist like Tom Cruise can make it. After that, Jesus will help each person to find a fellowship of like minded believers to grow and love with. I personally choose to stay in my local church and from there work on improving our doctrines to better reflect God as presented in the New Testament through Jesus Christ. I see room for improvement in our 28 fundamental beliefs wording and our church allows for this as the Holy Spirit leads.
9. It is my understanding that you have chosen to be a Catholic. It is amazing to me that you can overlook the protestant reformation given your knowledge of these matters. Why did those reformers have to die? Why did they leave the Catholic church and have Martin Luther's 95 thesis been corrected in the church of today? Who killed and tortured those reformers of old and for what reasons? Will you unite in the future with your people to silence the reformers of the future when or if the time comes? Where is your book regarding why it is OK to be a Catholic with apologies to Martin Luther and the many others that were silenced for their new truths? And your book seems strangely silent on the state of the dead. How is your Catholic teaching of God keeping sinners alive for eternity in the agony of fiery brimstone sitting with your spirit? How are you fitting this truth into your view of a God who is loving, kind and forgiving? There are several key text to support such a doctrine after all. As I mentioned before, I meet with like minded believers on Sabbath. I don't know how you are fitting this into your philosophy. I guess justice takes precedence over mercy, Dante's Inferno was eye opening to me on this topic. I like mercy better.
10. On page page 233, paragraph 7, you make a statement that helps to exemplify the unsound and frightening results of your thoughts and beliefs, and I would say, makes a case as to why I am a Seventh day Adventist. You state that "the gospel of Jesus Christ is simple. He said you would be saved if you believe in him. Period." Really? Then you go on to say it has to be "saving belief" which is not a period after all. Question? Did Satan belief in Jesus Christ and in his mission? Yes, he did. He was afraid of Him and he tried to stop Him. Did this save him? No. If you spend some time working this out, you find that it is important what you think about God. Here is where doctrine can be important. It is my opinion that the final question will be whether you agree with God and how He does things, or whether you agree with Satan and his charges against God as being unfair, arbitrary, vengeful and severe. The often slandered in your book idea of a great controversy. Satan won a large number of the angels to his side? How? I think that the answer to these questions will decide on whether God is able to save a person eternally, which only He knows because He reads the heart. It is not enough to just believe in Jesus Christ, or Satan would be saved. You need to work on this point and clarify what you meant. Your period was not in the right place. Period.
All this said, my longtime friends Tesa and Author, I will continue to pray for you and your family. I hope and pray the trail of carnage that you appear to have caused and continue to cause for your family and others is healed in time, especially regarding your wonderful parents who I see reaching out to you on your website. I would also like to apologize for any SDA cruelty or misunderstandings that you have obviously endured at the poor behavior of some legalistic SDA people. May God give you peace and clarity of thought as you move forward, and may I find you in heaven when the times comes as I will be searching for you. Maybe a few legalistic Catholics will help you to see your way more clearly, I am sure there are some there. We shall have some good conversation in heaven as the real truth will be known and all doctrines unified. Again, unless the doctrine is specifically addressing the charges of Satan against God, then I don't think God finds them terribly important here on earth. That's my view anyway, for what it is worth. I am free to attend any church in the world. I go where I can find like minded believers. And for me at this time, that still resides in the Seventh day Adventist denomination. How is it going being Catholic by the way? Another book maybe? Take my advice and write a novel next time. It would sit much better with all concerned and you do have a writing talent and an imagination that would serve well in a novel. You should also consider re-tracting this book (something I would recommend as your friend and as a fellow Christian) and re-writing it as a novel that relates a couples search for truth and how the SDA denomination was keeping the couple from experiencing Gods grace. You would be able to cover the same material, and you have an excellent 1st draft. I would read that and it would be very interesting, probably well received, and maybe even helpful to both SDA people and former SDA people. It might even cause a doctrinal evaluation at our next General Conference! But your book as written is not a reliable source of accurate statements about SDA people and the doctrines we hold as true today, and because of that it is regrettable that you present it as present truth. It has some good points, some truth mixed with lots of errors, only some of which I mention above. Final grade as written is F for falsehood. Come on Tesa, you can do better. Give us a novel. That might even make a good movie. Tom Cruise can play Author, he has the looks, though Tom is a little short. And to close, yes, it is OK to not be a seventh day Adventist. It always has been. But I love it and am constantly trying to improve this small section of Christendom as Jesus Christ works on me daily.
Your friend in Christ,
Stephen Dexter, MD

78 of 97 people found the following review helpful.
Disappointing
By A Reviewer
The Beems are very sloppy with historical details. They fail to footnote in such a way that people can evaluate sources for themselves. They fail to use credible sources.

They make major historical errors, such as the claim that

"Most SDA's are completely unaware that the Church of God Seventh-day, Advent Christian Church, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Worldwide Church of God, 7th day Sabbath Creationists, the First day Adventists and the Second Adventists are all children of the same movement."

Most Adventists know well that Miller's movement gave birth to the Advent Christian Church. This point is made in every history of the subject. But the rest is mistaken. The Jehovah's Witnesses were not part of the same movement; their founder, Charles Taze Russell, wasn't even born until 1852. The Worldwide Church of God wasn't part of the Millerite movement; it was founded in 1933 by Herbert W. Armstrong, who was born in 1892. The Church of God (Seventh-Day) was an offshoot from Sabbatarian Adventism that rejected the leadership of James and Ellen White; that history is covered in SDA courses on church history and Ellen White. As to 7th Day Sabbath Creationists, maybe she means the Creation 7th Day Adventists, who left the Seventh-day Adventist Church in 1988.

Lots of books have been written on Millerism by fair and reliable historians, including, most recently, David Rowe, God's Strange Work: William Miller and the End of the World. That's a better place for the interested non-Adventist to start.

Who is the intended audience of the book? This is really confusing. Teresa has said elsewhere it was former Adventists who didn't get "the real truth." And yet the preface begins, "Have you ever wondered about this nice but unusual, vegetarian, Saturday-churchgoing people? You may have met an Adventist" in various ways (xi). Is that how you begin a book for former Adventists?

Elsewhere, the Beems speak of a missionary mandate:

"No one is doing the Adventists a favor by allowing them to believe lies. We must bring them the truth of the gospel." (xvi)

The material is organized around a debunking of what the Beems regard as the "pillars" of Adventism: "Ellen White as prophetess, The Three Angels' Message and Sanctuary Doctrine and lastly the Sabbath Doctrine" (64). But Ellen White is not one of the "pillar doctrines" of Adventism. Here's how Ellen herself spoke of the "pillars" or "landmarks":

"The passing of the time in 1844 was a period of great events, opening to our astonished eyes the cleansing of the sanctuary transpiring in heaven, and having decided relation to God's people upon the earth, [also] the first and second angels' messages and the third, unfurling the banner on which was inscribed, `The commandments of God and the faith of Jesus.' One of the landmarks under this message was the temple of God, seen by His truth-loving people in heaven, and the ark containing the law of God. The light of the Sabbath of the fourth commandment flashed its strong rays in the pathway of the transgressors of God's law. The nonimmortality of the wicked is an old landmark. I can call to mind nothing more that can come under the head of the old landmarks. All this cry about changing the old landmarks is all imaginary" (CW 30).

I find it interesting that they devoted so much time to Ellen White an important figure, one whom Adventists do believe to have had the gift of prophecy, but not a pillar or landmark doctrine) and yet say nothing about the Adventist teaching on the nature of man and conditional immortality.

I also find it interesting that the authors, who say, "We must bring them the truth of the gospel" (xvi), say nothing about Adventist discussions about the gospel. There is no mention of 1888, of E. J. Waggoner, of A. T. Jones, of Desmond Ford or Robert Brinsmead, of righteousness by faith or justification by faith-subjects that have been the focus of so much debate within Adventism! Yet they cavalierly say Adventists know nothing about the gospel, and are living in despair, burdened by legalism.

Their depiction of Adventism is very dated. Adventist schools do not shun competition (235); most have intramural sports and many, if not most, also have teams that play non-Adventist schools. Contrary to the list on pp. 250-251, Adventists have no problem voting their conscience at the polls (Adventist conference presidents don't issue voter's guides). Lots of Adventists wear jewelry these days (for good or ill). Most Adventists don't send their kids to church schools (ditto). Adventists watch Christian (and non-Christian) TV. Many Adventists love Billy Graham and C. S. Lewis. Most Adventists don't fret or worry about the end times-they believe the return of Jesus is "the blessed hope." Adventists use their imaginations (just look at those prophecy seminar brochures).

For a book that's supposed to be about helping former Adventists adjust, there's no guidance for where they might go. The authors thank a Baptist pastor and an Assemblies of God pastor at the beginning. Those churches have very different views on spiritual gifts. The Beems don't give their former Adventist readers any guidance on this. Or on the subject of other churches' views on death (a major difference). Or on interpretation of prophecy (is Dispensationalism taught in Scripture?).

And what about the Catholic church? After several years of checking out the evangelical world, the Beems became Catholic--around the same time their book was being published, it would seem. So which gospel do they want former Adventists to embrace-the Baptist gospel or the teachings of the Council of Trent? What do they say about Catholic visionaries like Anne Catherine Emmerich? Or Medjugorje? Or Catholic legalism? Or purgatory, or works of satisfaction, or indulgences? Or Catholic schools (that could perhaps also be described as a "lockdown system to keep families in the organization" (235))?

I think after reading this book a former Adventist may well pat him or herself on the back and say, "See, I was right!" But will they have any sense of where to go next? I don't think so.

But that's not really the point, I think. This book isn't about former Adventists. It isn't about current Adventists. It isn't about non-Adventists. It is about Teresa and Arthur. It is really about their need to get off their chest some frustrations and to come to some sort of closure about their Adventist experience. Some people need to do that.

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